Jewels from the Dark

Do you ever feel stuck? Like you wish you could wiggle a little and move your life forward? Keeping with the mining theme, it’s like spelunking and getting into a ‘squeeze.’ I know nothing of actual spelunking, just to be clear…But I have read about getting in between two rocks or in between the entrance and the exit of a tight cave and feeling stuck.

That’s what I feel like right now. I’m stuck between where my life has been and where I want to be. Stuck between what I thought I wanted and what I think I may want in the future. Stuck in pain. Just…stuck.

One of my literary guides during my walk in the dark of my life is Barbara Brown Taylor. Her book is phenomenal and was such a gem for me. She discusses the whole spelunking thing and says – ‘When you are stuck in [a squeeze], the best thing to do is to study the rock. Since it is not letting you go anywhere, you might as well pay attention to where you are. How tight is the squeeze, exactly? Where on your body do you feel it most acutely? Is the floor underneath you sandy or muddy? You still have a light, so use it. What is the color of the stone in this squeeze—is it gray or brown, solid or striped?’ (Taylor 2015, p. 88).

So that is my goal – to pay attention to where I am. To embrace the in-between. Not to struggle against the squeeze, but to appreciate the chance to slow down, focus on what is around me, and steady my breath.

For the record, I don’t like the in-between. But since I can’t move at the moment, I choose to learn!

Barbara Brown Taylor. 2015. Learning to Walk in the Dark. New York: HarperOne.